Chicken Noodles with GG

The week following my surgery, my family was amazing. Adam and Jackson took the weekend to go to El Campo for my nephew Camden's 2nd birthday. I stayed home to sleep and recover...and secretly get some work done on the computer when I was feeling well enough to sit for a few hours.

On Sunday, my grandmother came over to iron. Literally, just to iron. She knows that I do not like to iron (although I will say that she is very inspiring and that I now have a handle on the whole ironing out of the dryer thing! Thanks GG!) and I had a WHOLE basket FULL of clothes that needed to be pressed (along with a few in the closet that I typically hang, then fluff later if I need to...oh, and Wrinkle Release if nessesary!) With Gustav in the gulf, she was going to help me get all my laundry done so that that was one less thing to worry about. Well, she ironed nearly ALL DAY! I had so many clothes with wrinkles! Holy Hell, Batman! We watched TV and chatted...that was the day I got my drawers organized too with my new IKEA drawer separators. Adam's sock drawer, my sock and my underware drawer, and Jackson's sock and underware drawers....I also got Jackson's closet cleared out of old clothes and his dresser re-organized...I felt good to get organized again. I did have to take a few breaks in between when I started hurting, but otherwise it was a great day! I also got a bridal book completed in 15 minutes...a TOTAL record! It was the easiest one to create so far--flowed and was perfect the first go round! Yeah!

The next day, GG came back over to clean my floors. She did the hardwoods while I mopped the bathrooms and laundry room. Again, I was taking it easy, but I just couldn't lay in a bed all day with a hurricane on the way. Goodness. Great timing Gustav. Great timing. That afternoon, Jackson and GG made the infamous Smarsh family chicken noodles. MY GG (great grandma Dutch) used to make them all the time (it was her family recipe) and I remember sitting in her kitchen watching her cook. Now, Jackson's GG is teaching him the family recipe. I love it. She showed him how to roll out the noodles (home made!) and then cut them, then add the bullion cubes....

He helped almost the whole time, until I gave him the rolling pin and some play-doh....

Roses

I am not usually a flowers person, but the day of my surgery, Jackson and Adam went out for a little while so I could sleep, and came home with these beautiful roses. I just thought they were so pretty! Like I've been telling people over the past few days, I know that Jackson knew what was going on. He clung to me that day and has been a momma's boy ever since...it's weird how their instincts are right on.





A few days later, my friend Nicole stopped by and brought me some amazing red carnations! My kitchen has never been prettier with all those flowers. Thank you to everyone who sent us cards, well wishes, and prayers. It meant so much to us that you were thinking of us.We love you all!

Lots to Blog

I have a TON of stuff to blog about, but I've been down on the couch for a little over a week, and then out of town for the weekend. I have a doctor's appointment today, so when I get back, here is my "task list":

--Blog Jackson's journey's over the past 2 weeks
--process Nicole's maternity
--blog Dobie High School Cheerleaders (finally!)
--Finish Amy's wedding book (1)
--Start/Finish Courtney's wedding book (1)
--Start Sarah's Wedding Books (3)

Goodness...also, I have orders to get ordered (which should only take about 20 minutes) and some phone calls to make concerning insurance coverage....lovely. Nothing like getting a whopping bill in the mail for something that is fully covered. And stated clearly so in our booklet of coverage. And, apparently the mortgage company doesn't know we have wind and hail coverage, so I have some faxing to do when I get back too, and a big check to send to our accountant that I FINALLY got billed for....I hate reality. I hate the real world...I'm ready to go back to the lake!

At least my laundry is done....and my house is clean....why is it that we clean like crazy and want everything picked up and organized JUST before a hurricane comes? I mean, I cleaned to the point that my house was spotless, my underwear drawer was organized, Adam's socks were all in their place, Jackson's toys were sorted in his toy boxes, all my dishes were clean and put away in their proper place, my floors were clean, and my closet was immaculate....all for Hurricane Gustav to take a left hand turn and destroy my house! Whatever....thank goodness it didn't come out way, but I'm still trying to figure out why I went to all the trouble. Oh yeah, so I could RELAX today! I all Bullshit on that one....have you seen my task list....I want to go back to bed....

Wanna see?

What I've been up to lately! Blogging! Just not on Jackson's page...I've been working on BOOKS BOOKS and more BOOKS! And, finally getting around to blogging some weddings.
Check 'em out!

www.ramiebabcock.blogspot.com
www.ramiebabcockalbums.blogspot.com


Life is moving on slowly. I have had some good days and some bad days. I have been meaning to blog all the fun stuff that we did with Jackson over the past few days, but then I get tired. So, I promise some videos and pictures later in the weekend. We are heading to the lake possibly tomorrow, so it will probably be on Tuesday when I can blog again...but for now, I'm going to bed! Goodnight!

Longest day ever

So this morning, we got up and dropped Jackson off with my mom. We had our appointment with the specialist, Dr. Rowe. Although my appointment was at 11:00am, I didn't get in until 12:15pm...so we sat and waited. To kill time, Adam and I played BeJeweled on his cell phone!

Dr. Rowe's nurse took me in and did the first ultrasound. She confirmed what we saw with Dr. Taylor. And then Dr. Rowe came in and looked at the scan with us. He walked us through everything. He is wonderful! Sooo nice, lives down the street from us with 4 boys of his own....I just could not have asked for a more compassionate man to help explain it all. Basically, it's just something that happened. The yolk sac looked great, the blood flow was normal, but the baby measured only 8 weeks 2 days, so it happened sometime last week. He said it could have been a chromosome issue, it could have been a heart defect....we just don't know. And it's not to say that we won't have a healthy baby the next time. The likelihood of it happening again? 1% chance of a heart defect in the next birth, 3% chance of a chromosome abnomality in the next birth, 97% chance of a happy, healthy baby. The fact that we already have a healthy baby is proof that we can produce a healthy baby. He is not worried one bit. He also suggested we NOT send anything off to labs to have DNA testing, as it would not show anything anyway (we are past the 72 hour stage).

So we headed back to Dr. Taylor's office--to sit and wait. She had a c-section and a surgery, and we sat for 2.5 hours! I was frustrated, but understood that there was no control over it. I would not see another doctor, obviously. We had talked about our options--to have a D&C or just wait it out and see if I would pass the miscarriage on my own, sometime. With a 2 year old, I really didn't think I should just wait it out and hope that I didn't have severe bleeding or cramping when I was home alone with him, or driving, or out shopping. When we talked it over with Dr. Taylor, she said it was our decision, but in some cases, I would have to have the surgery anyway, so that sealed the deal for me. We immediately scheduled the D&C for the next morning.

So as soon as she scheduled us with the hospital, I had to walk over to Clear Lake Regional for Pre-Op--which I sat and waited for another 2.5 hours. Basically, I sat in waiting rooms for nearly 6 hours today. Lovely.

The anestisiologist that spoke to me is the same gentleman who did my epidural with Jackson...so nice and compassionate as well. For this surgery, I will be completely under, and Dr. Taylor will have the assurance of the ultrasound, as well as a specialist on hand just in case. I love how thorough she is. It might scare some people, but I know she is just covering all bases, and I'm happy with that.

So tonight, I've taken some medicine that makes me nauseas, but will help weaken my cervix for surgery tomorrow. We tried to make the most of our evening, so that we were not just sitting at home thinking about tomorrow, so we had a really nice dinner at Ichibon's (the hibachi place! Loved it!) Jackson ate EVERY PIECE OF HIS DINNER WITH CHOP STICKS!! NO JOKE! They brought him some kiddie chopsticks and he really would not use his "pork" or "poon" (he can say his 's' but he chooses not to on those two words...weird....) After dinner, we came home and cleaned out my van--it was little messy to say the least! We took it to the car wash and cleaned it, vacuumed it, and gave it that new car smell spray!

Then, we headed to Main Event for some family BOWLING! I have video of it, and Jackson was hillarious, but I'll post that later.

Right now, I feel like crap and I want to throw up and keel over from the pain in my abdomin....so I'm going to bed. We have to be at the hospital at 7:30am, with surgery at 9:00am....then, I'm sleeping for 3 days. Good night.....

Terrible news...

***Please note that the following should not be read at work***

I had a doctor's appointment today. A regular, routine checkup. I left Jackson and Adam at home and told Adam that if I wasn't back before 12:15, to take Jackson to my mom's. Dr. Taylor was running about an hour behind schedule, so of course I was going to be later than expected. They finally called me in, I peed, they weighed me, and the nurse took me in. We did a fetal heart scan, and since I am still pretty early, she said it might be hard to find a heart beat, but if she couldn't, she'd just have the ultrasound tech do a belly scan to confirm, no big deal. Dr. Taylor came in and said everything looked great. We took another blood sample to make sure that my progesterone was getting into normal range (and I could possibly stop taking the troches), but other than that, everything was good. The ultrasound tech had gone to lunch so Dr. Taylor wanted me to come back in an hour just to make sure, because it would be 4 more weeks until she saw me again.

I called Mom to make sure she had Jackson under control. I headed to lunch and then was going back to the office for the belly scan.

I got back, got right in, and layed on the table. We talked about the ENORMOUS mom that was in just before me and the picture on the screen of her baby with ROLLS--yes ROLLS in the womb! We were laughing and everything was fine...and she started the belly scan.

I saw the sac, but really nothing else. I said "Awww....I don't see anything (I already knew)." "That's not good, huh?!" (again, already knew) She was visibly upset, "Ramie, I don't see anything either......" and she didn't say anything else. I said, very calmly, "I NEVER thought this would ever happen to us....." "Okay, now what do I do?"

She took everything to Dr. Taylor and I called Adam..."Tell Adam it's an emergency and I need to talk to him now, please." "Adam, you need to meet me at Dr. Taylor's office. Leave the office and get here, okay?" I was very calm during all of this....oddly....

I went back to the exam room and just sat there. Not really thinking anything. I am a TRUE believer that EVERYTHING happens for a reason and you can't be mad about it. You can get upset, lock yourself in a closet, scream, and get pissed, but in the end, it's happened. So I just sat and pondered on how I was going to tell the family, how/if/when we would try again. Honestly, I never asked "WHY?" or "HOW?" because it didn't matter to me. I didn't even cry at first.

Dr. Taylor came in and sat down, visibly shaken as well, which saddened me. I had become pretty close to the girls in the office when I had Jackson, so I could tell she really cared about this pregnancy as well. She had had miscarriages herself, she explained what had happened. She said this was something no one could predict. It could have been that this baby had too many or not enough chromosomes, it could happen again, it could have just been a fluke....these things just happen. And I told her, "It's okay. Really. We have ALWAYS said that if Jackson was our only child, we would still be happy and we would love him more than any child in the world. I have faith, and I believe that this was meant to be...." She said it would hit me later and to just be prepared. She wanted to confirm and have me and Adam go to a specialist (Dr. Rowe) in the morning to do another belly scan and see if there was something that we missed or that we can prevent in the future.

So I went and sat in a grieving room and waited for Adam to get there. He was shocked. I think he knew something was up when I called. He was very upset...in the time it took for him to get there, I broke down. I cried, simply because I was sad that it was over. I'm not mad, just sad right now. I'm not questioning, just disappointed, that's all. I cried for about 15 minutes and then Adam came in and I had to try and explain it all to him.

We go tomorrow morning at 11:00 to see Dr. Rowe. On the car ride home, we cried. We both agreed that we are happy that it happened now. Before we knew the sex, before we picked out names, before we got too terrible attached. Had it happened at 20, 30, 40 weeks, I would have reacted differently, I'm sure. I was still getting used to the idea of being pregnant. Throwing up everyday doesn't get you too excited about being pregnant, really.

We got home, Adam went and picked Jackson up, and the minute Mom opened the door, Adam said she knew. He didn't even really have to say anything. Mother's instinct, I guess. I was on the couch when they got back. Jackson came right in and said "I love you too, Momma." He's too little to understand anything. I'm sure someday he will, but not today. I hope not today.

So now, I have a beautiful baby boy that I adore and that I can hold and touch and play with, and I have one baby in heaven. This is my reality. I'll always have a place in my heart for this one, and I pray everyday that I do not forget. Ever.

Please pray for Adam and I. This is not something that you really ever think will happen to you. Do not feel sorry for us, just be sad that it happened. We're lucky, right now, that we have Jackson. Too many women have miscarriage after miscarriage and never get to hold a baby of there own. I KNOW we are blessed. I thank God everyday for that amazing little boy.

This is not something we want to talk about right now. We are still trying to figure out how to tell people, and this is just one outlet for me and a way to fill everyone in. Please don't ask us about it, or try and talk about it with us right now. Thank you in advance for your respectfulness.

"I catch WHOLE BIG NEMOs!"

The next weekend, my friend Lindsey came into town on Friday night to stay with us and she brought her little dog Molly--Jackson LOVED Molly! He kept saying "Come here, doggy!" She was precious! We had a great night with Miss Winzey...and then we headed to the lake in the morning! Early--6:30am early. Adam wanted to be sure that we got a full weekend in with the Hanegans. Mr. and Mrs. Hanegan built a lake house on Lake Sam Rayburn a few years back and we've gone as a family one other time (but it RAINED and RAINED the entire weekend...uhh) but this time, the weather was PERFECT! When we got there, Wade and Lauren were out on the new boat: Ms. Hanegan got a new Suntracker Pontoon boat (which I LOVED! I grew up on a Suntracker, so I was super excited to get out on the lake in it!) and Mr. Hanegan just got a new BassTracker (which Adam was in love with!)

So when Wade and Lauren got back, we jumped on the boat and headed out to the middle of the lake to swim! Jackson thoroughly enjoyed it! He jumped right in and swam all around the boat! He helped Wade drive the boat, too!

When we got back, the boys fished! And I mean FISHED! Jackson started out on the shoreline....he didn't catch much there.

The water was only 1 foot deep (it came up to about my ankles in some parts, and up to my calf in other parts, so we put just the tube on Jackson and let him walk in the water. Us girls just tied ourselves to the back of the boat on floats and got GREAT tans (for the first time all summer...what's wrong with me! I'm usually a sun-whore!) Well, Mr. Hanegan was enjoying Jackson's Cars fishing rod that he got for his birthday--he would wade out, cast, and he was catching a bunch of little perch. He would tell Jackson "Jack, I'm tired of fishing, would you like to try and catch a fish?" Jackson would say "Yes!" and grab the pole (little did he know that Mr. Hanegan had ALREADY caught a fish and it was on the line, just waiting to be reeled in!) Jackson would start reeling and get so excited! He caught 7 Nemos that way!

He even caught a catfish, but it broke off the line just seconds after I took this picture!

WOW! Mr. Hanegan used to do the same thing when Wade and his sisters were little...he was stuck to Jackson most of the weekend--He was having fun! The boys wanted to go out on the boat and he said "Go ahead, I'll stay here with Jackson, we're just fine!" They ended up on the boat and they trolled around the cove catching fishing and peeing off the side of the boat! HA! When we were back at the house, Jackson would open his arms up really big and say "I catch WHOOOOLLLE BIIIGG NEEEEMOs! Seben! Seben!"



We watched the Olympics and played with trains and had a great time--I was so relaxed! These are the amazing windows on the back side of their cabin--the sun came in so beautifully in the morning!
The best part, I felt great! First time in this whole pregnancy! I didn't get sick once! But I paid for it on Monday and Tuesday--I didn't move off the couch and I can't tell you how many times I threw up....but my mini-vacation was well worth it! We had a blast!!

The Wiggles!!

A few months back, I found out that The Wiggles were coming to Houston. I was super excited! Jackson has been watching The Wiggles since he was about 10 months old (I'd have to go back in the blog archive to really find out when, but it's been a LONG time!) He really likes them, follows along with the videos, dances, sings, etc. So I thought it would be fun to see them LIVE! Adam just about had a come-apart over how much I spent for the tickets, but I'm sure he'll get over it! "Put it on my tab....!"

The concert was Aug 4th (for you blog readers, can you tell I'm a little behind...you can blame the new baby later!! HA!) I only took my little camera b/c we took the BIG video and I didn't want to take a whole nother bag just for techy stuff, but surprisingly, I love the video that my little camera made!! The pictures are not that great, but the video is what I really wanted!

When we got there, Jackson was just in awe--the stage, the lights, the music...and this was all before the Wiggles even came out! Once the show started, he just stared for a little bit (I'm not sure if it was disbelief, or that he was just taking it all in!) The guys all came out into the audience too: Jeff, Murray, Anthony, and the new guy Sam! He kept pointing and saying "loook Mama!" He was into the show THE ENTIRE TIME!! All Hour and 40 minutes!! I was so proud!

I have to say, Adam told me in the car on the way home "I didn't want to kill himself" while we were there, and he actually kinda enjoyed it. He thought it was fun seeing Jackson so excited!! But again, it's 4 grown men dancing--not a grown man's idea of fun....well, maybe for some, I don't know! HA!

I don't have any decent pictures of Jackson and I, and you can see why--it took 3 shots to even get one and it's not very good:

At the end of the show, Jackson kept saying "Thank you, Momma! Thank you, Momma!"

He conked out in the car the minute we were out of the parking garage and stayed out even after we got home! He was one tired Wiggles fan!!

And now for video montage part I:

Guess What?

Jackson is going to be a big brother!!

So here's the story. Adam and I have been trying for another baby for a while--4 months actually. Yup. Crazy, huh? Considering it only took 3 weeks the 1st time. Stressful to say the least. Our plan was to be preggers by Jackson's birthday and keep it a secret until then, and announce at the party--didn't happen.

Last week, I knew I had missed. Then, all of a sudden, I couldn't remember when my last cycle was. Did I miss? Did I miss calculate my start date? Am I cramping? Why are my boobs so sore? Why am I SOOOO FREAKING TIRED?! Well, Adam was out of town last Sunday, so I decided to take a test by myself. Instantly--POSITIVE. The funny thing is, even though we knew it was going to happen sometime, I was flooded with emotion at that one single moment of seeing it show 2 lines. My first thought: holy crap. This is going to change Jackson's life dramatically! What is he going to think? Will I still love him as much? Will he feel left out? Then, holy crap. I'm going to get fat again. Great.

Really, those were the only two things I thought about. I hate saying it, but I wasn't overly excited like I was the first go-round. Although, I have heard that from a lot of mom's now, so I don't feel so terrible about it now!

The next thing I did--went upstairs to the office to order the cutest shirt I had ever seen online! I had had the thought about a year ago that when we got pregnant again, I would get a shirt from Babies R Us that said Big Brother, and then write: "I'm going to be a" on the top--then I found this shirt when I was searching for his birthday shirt, and knew that I had to have it! And, I wouldn't say a word until it was here.



So I waited until Wednesday when it arrived to plan the announcement--that's right, 3.5 days later of keeping a secret! (and in fact, the UPS guy was the first person I told! Then Marcia, the receptionist at Dr. Taylor's office when I made the appointment!) WOW! That has never happened to me. I'm a blabber mouth--**NOTE: never tell me a secret. I have to tell at least one person. Unless you are my mom, my hubby, Rachel, or Stacey, I will tell someone your secret! With theirs, I keep my mouth SHUT, but anyone else is fair gossip people. Don't get all judgemental, you know you do it too! HA!**

When I told Jackson, the first thing he said was "A baby Anna?" NO. "A baby Mari?" NO. I've held two babies in the past 3 weeks--Anna and Mari--both of which Jackson LOVED! I asked him, "What is Mommy?" "Mommy pegant!" Yup.

So on Thursday morning, Adam was home from work and I knew I had to tell him then b/c we had our first appointment on Friday. So I put the shirt on Jackson, grabbed the video camera, and headed up stairs to surprise Daddy! I'll try and get that video online soon. He was shocked, kinda happy, kinda weirded out that I could keep a secret! All at once! But by the end of the day, he was elated!

We went to see Dr. Taylor on Friday--love that office! They were all excited to see us! We go back next week for an ultra sound and bloodwork, but in the meantime, she already started me on my Progesterone ( I had hormone issues with Jackson that could have caused me to miscarry had we not caught it soon enough) just to be safe.

On Saturday, I was super tired, but we had plans to finish the office closet and my parents were going to help. We were supposed to have my family over afterward for dinner and then have Jackson announce (same as with Adam) but I got really tired and cranky, pissed off at Adam, nothing was going right, so everyone left--no dinner, no announcement, and I went straight to bed to take a 3 hour nap. Lovely.

Later, we put the shirt on and headed to Memaw's and Pawpaw's with the video camera again and told them to come outside. Jackson said "ook at my chirt!" "Mommy pegant!" Mom and Dad and Tacey were both happy! WHAT? NO WAY! YOU ARE A LIAR! HOW COULD YOU KEEP THIS A SECRET? WHAT HAPPENED TO "I'M NOT HAVING ANY MORE KIDS?" THAT'S GREAT! WHEN ARE YOU DUE? etc etc etc....Then on to GG Jane's for more showing of the shirt, video, "WHAT? NO WAY! WHEN ARE YOU DUE? WERE YOU TRYING? HAVE YOU GONE TO THE DOCTOR? NO WAY! Again, I'll get the video up as soon as I can....

We called Adam's parents on our way home. We had called them earlier in the day, but they were working on their house, so we knew they would be done by 9:30 at night! Grandma Patty answered and we told Jackson, "Tell her the surprise. What is Mommy?" "MOMMY PEGANT!" Patty said "Isn't that a big word for a little boy? Couldn't you have taught him, "Mommy's going to have a baby!?" Jackson yells, "NOOOO!" HA! But I don't think she thought we were serious. Grandpa Doug asked, "Is this for real or did you just teach him to say that?" Once it sunk it, holy cow were they elated! Doug could not get on the phone fast enough! "Were you trying? That's great! That new house does it to you guys every time!" (which is true, we buy a new house, we get pregnant---FYI: we're never moving again.) We didn't get to chat long, but it made me feel good that they were so excited. The more excited everyone else was about it, the more excited I have become. I cried on the way home after telling the families--it made it all real then.

So we've only told a few people. This is our big announcement! We are due March 23rd (roughly) but due to the fact that my OB does not to VBACs, we will be scheduling a c-section the week before the actual due date. We'll find out more next Wednesday at the ultra sound.

Our family of 3 will become a complete family of 4 next spring. It's very surreal! We are so excited! Holding all these babies lately really puts you in baby mode. At this point, a lot is up in the air--how much will I be working, if at all. How much sleep are we going to actually get this time around (before, Jackson and I would nap on the days that we didn't get much sleep at night, but now I have a toddler, too!) I know Mom's do it all the time, it's just scary. I can barely handle one, I can't imagine two right now. Also, in the time that we have been talking about babies with Jackson, he has reverted a little and had a few accidents with potty training. And he wants to be held like a baby. And he wants me to hold him at night to fall asleep. This could get interesting.....

Please keep us in your thoughts and prayers as we journey through pregnancy once again! I'll be posting pregnancy updates on my photo blog, as not to take away from Jackson's blog! Caution: it could get vivid!! HA!!

BIG big boy bed

For Jackson's birthday party, we invited Grandma Patty and Grandpa Doug to stay the night after the party was over. We FINALLY have room and a place for them to stay whenever they come into town (we had a couch and a floor in the old house--Jackson was still in a crib then and we had wood floors, so it was difficult to have anyone stay the night!). My mom was cleaning out her upstairs with the intent of getting new carpet and re-decorating once Stacey is moved out, so I offered to take my old bed off of her hands!! HA! It's a full size bed...which is perfect for our spare bedroom.

So we got the bed, a night stand, a lamp, and a headboard from them about 2 weeks before the party. Little did we know that THIS would become Jackson's favorite (and only) place to sleep.
When we got the bed, Jackson immediately wanted to sleep in the new bed. So, I let him. Then, the next night, it was "I sleep in Momma's bed?" NO. "I sleep in Daddin's bed?" NO. "I sleep in Memaw's bed?" You mean the guest bedroom? "Yes, Jackson sleep in the geeeuuuusstt-bed...woom!" And this is where he sleeps now. In fact, he told me the other night as I was putting his jammy-jams on: Do you want to sleep in your own bedroom tonight? "No momma, it too mall." So, he's in the big boy bed....we'll be changing the crib/toddler bed into the full size bed soon and putting that mattress in his room. He sleeps so well in it--through the night and WELL into the morning--until like 9:00am! He gets a full 13 hours of sleep at night! I love it!

This bed has also finally allowed us to be on a night time routine: bath at 7:00-7:20, jammies by 7:30, milk and pick out books til 7:40pm, read stories til 7:55pm, close our eyes and try and be out by 8:00pm. So far so good, he's usually out by the 2nd story! Yeah!

Some shots of Jack Jack sleeping in his BIG big boy bed:

Cute pics!

***We interrupt this blog for some random cuteness!**