I heard this song today and I just broke down because it whole-heartedly describes how I feel about Jackson. Hands-down. I waited a long time to have a baby (in my heart--I could have had babies SOOO young if I had been married--I always wanted to be a mom) and to get a child that is so wonderful...it's a blessing. I am truly the luckiest parent. He is amazing--everyday, he never ceases to amaze me. I still can't believe he's 3 years old....

Play the video as you read the words...it's beyond perfect to me...hit pause on the Playlist on the right 1st...

I Just Call You Mine

I pinch myself sometimes to make
sure I'm not in a dream. That's how
it seems, I close my eyes and
breath in the sweetest moments
I've ever known
It feels like home, and here
I am I wanna be your everything
There you are turning winter
into spring.

And everyone that sees you
always wants to know you
And everyone that knows you
always has a smile
Your standing ovation
after years of waiting
for a chance to finally Shine.
Everyone calls you amazing
yeah-eh
I Just call you mine

I fall apart, just a word from you
some how seems to fix, whatever's
wrong ohh
You reach into the weakest
moments and remind me that I'm
strong
You've gotta know

I'd be a fool, not to see you
even worse
To forget that your more than
I deserve

Cause everyone that sees you
always wants to know you
And everyone that knows you
always has a smile
Your standing ovation
after years of waiting
for a chance to finally Shine.
Everyone calls you amazing
I Just call you mine

Nothin' makes sense
when you're not here
as if my world disappears
without you what's the point
of it

Cause everyone that sees you
always wants to know you
And everyone that knows you
always has a smile
Your the dream that I've been
chasin'
after years of waiting
for a chance to finally Shine.
Everyone calls you amazing
I Just call you mine
Everyone calls you amazing
yeah yeah yeah
I just call you mine

Saturdays with Daddy

I've been gone the past 2 Saturdays: once for a wedding in Tomball, and once for an engagement session in College Station. Both days, Jackson and Daddy spent sun up to sun down together...you konw, doing fun Daddy and Jackson stuff...what that means, I have no idea. I just know that no one got hurt and apparently some "really cool stuff" was going on!

The first weekend I was gone, Jackson and Daddy headed to Target to get a few things for the house, and in the process, came home with a slip 'n slide and some water guns! On Sunday, I got to experience, 1st hand, the kind of fun that Daddy and Jackson had!

Ast-er-wos Game

My dad got tickets to the Astros vs. Cubs game on June 10th through Boeing. So, we all got tickets! Family night at the ball park was pretty fun! Adam and my Dad had gotten new jersey's, Jackson had his jersey from last year, and I was pretty bummed that I didn't have anything "astros" to wear--until my sister said I could wear her jersey and that she would wear her t-shirt! Then I was super happy about the game! Although, I had to keep it un-buttoned on the bottom...still, I loved the jersey!


We get down there, and we see a sea of orange in our section....hmmm...at which point Adam informs me, "oh yeah! It's Sam Houston State Alumni night! We got a thing in the mail about it...I forgot to tell you." I was still pretty excited!

We spied Sammy the Bearkat and told Jackson that he needed to meet him! How do explain to an almost 3 year old what the hell a Bearkat is? Mickey Mouse, I can handle...Sammy the Bearkat? Hmmm....

He was a little nervous at first, but Sammy gave him knuckles, blew it up, and made it rain, and it was okay after that! Some drunk women next to me took the pictures...they are a little blurry...

The game was pretty boring until the last inning...and Jackson was pissed, yet again, that they never "hit the damn ball". He kept yelling "we wanna see the train go! Hit that ball!" And finally, we got a base hit to win the game, and although the train didn't go, we got to see the keebooms so he was happy!


This shot irritated me b/c I had JUST told Adam not to shoot me from that angle b/c it would make me look HUGE...NEVER shoot a pregnant women from below...it's rude!! Hence my face:

After the game, Jackson also got to meet Dr. Gaertner. He thought Jackson was pretty cute, and his wife wanted to take Jackson home! He loved that he was a "true" Bearkat!

Austin Trip

The first weekend in May, we took a mini-trip for our Anniversary/Uncle Elliott's wedding and headed to Austin for a night and day. When we got there, we had some time before we were going to meet up with my friend Lindsay (we were all going out for our anniversary dinner!), so we checked with the concierge at the Hyatt, and she recommended the Austin Children's Museum--and it was FUN!

We walked over Congress bridge to the museum--which was all decked out in Thomas the Train! Our LUCKY DAY! We spent a couple of hours just letting Jackson wander and explore and create...we made some really cool crafts!


He made a really cool shrinky-dink...you take a large piece of plastic, color it, put it in an over and watch it melt and shrink into a pendant the size of a quarter! Jackson thought it was the coolest thing! We kept it and put it on a chain later so he could wear it.



Upstairs, you could make cars--Adam and Jackson made an AWESOME car and raced it down a ramp, where it in turn, crashed and burned...sadly!


We were a little hungry on our way back, so we stopped at a really cute little bistro where they had apple juice in a glass bottle...hands down, it looked JUST like beer and Jackson kept saying "Daddy-O, don't drink my beer, k?" I could have died right there in that bistro...but he loved it, and it WAS kinda funny! They also made homemade potato chips that were to DIE for...YUM!





That night, we met up with Lindsay for happy hour and a fabulous dinner! We exchanged our anniversary gifts: a watch for Adam and my FLIP HD. After dinner, we walked down Congress to see the bats....fascinating is all I can say...and had Amy's Ice Cream...soooo good! Later, we headed back to the Hyatt for a night cap. We were in the Lobby/Bar area and the hotel manager walked over to ask Jackson if he would like a giant cookie...DUH?! So he brings this huge cookie! Jackson says, "Oh, thank you very much!" and with that, the manager says, "You can't have a cookie without some milk!" So he goes off to find Jackson some milk, and returns with the coolest Boiling Pin jug! Jackson's eyes were HUGE!! He was a spoiled little boy that night! Museum, "beer", ice cream, cookies and milk, AND a cool jug?! Geez!!

Needless to say, Jack Jack was ready for bed!!

We had a great little trip to ATX and we can't wait to go back! We miss you Miss Winzy!!

Follow-Up

I had some pressure this morning, although I ran a couple of errands anyway (stop yelling! Adam already did that all freaking morning...) I called Dr. Taylor's office to see if she wanted to see me for a follow-up after yesterday. They called right back and yes, I needed to come in around 3:30pm. Dr. Taylor is leaving for Hawaii for 10 days, so she wanted to see me before she left...lucky lady!

Everything looked good, although she has no idea why I was contracting or why I am having pressure. She checked my cervix and it's closed and tight, but she wants me to see Dr. Rowe (the specialist) yet again for him to do a complete ultrasound to see the position of the baby and the thickness of my cervix.

When I told her about our trip to Tennessee, she said no. No flying, no traveling, strict bed rest for at least a week. Great. But then I asked, "what if the baby is just low and HE's causing the pressure? What if Dr. Rowe says I can go?" Then I can go. Cautiously.

In my head and heart, I shouldn't go. I need to park my fat ass on this bed (where I am now) and just be still. It's hard. I hate it. But I REALLY wanted to take Jackson to Tennesse and see all the family and see Sabrina's FABULOUS wedding and go on a REAL vacation...I'm totally bummed...

And let's just get this out there: I'm not a good patient. I HATE being waited on. I HATE being still. I HATE not being able to do all those things that are running through my head, b/c, let's face it, none of these same thoughts run through a man's head, and as much as I can articulate things to Adam to do, men just don't do things like we do....so that gets me frustrated. I love Adam dearly, and all men are the same, so it's not HIM, it's just the fact that there is a penis before a brain...as with everyone with a penis...uhhh...now I'm just venting b/c WHAT THE HELL ELSE am I going to do while I sit here in the silence of my house!?

God love him. He's been great today. He got me home, put pillows all around me, got me water, my book, my laptop all set up, and then went to go get Jackson from GG, get dinner from GG, and then get about 8 movies for the next 2 days. He is being very supportive. I'm very thankful for him...I just pray he can stand me after 3 days of being my nurse...poor guy.

So now, we wait. I promise I'm going to get some blogging done...right after I get the engagements posted...God, that is hanging over my head and I hate it....along with the 3 books I have to finish...see, this is what happens...all this shit runs through my head when I have to sit and do nothing...AHHHHHH!!

BUT, baby is still moving and active. He's a pain in my uterus already, but I still love him. We think he's mad b/c we still have no name for him...I'm working on it...

Quick Update...more blogs to come

I needed to get a quick blog in before I head to bed. We had a crazy day today (after a GREAT relaxing weekend! More about that in a bit) I got up this morning and sat at my computer for a while getting some images done. I headed downstairs for a bowl of cereal and some water...and I started feeling some pressure in my lower abdomine. I thought maybe I just really had to pee...so I did...and it did nothing, but stretching and pressure is normal and it would go away in about 10 minutes or so...so I laid down for a bit and watched some TV. In the meantime, Jackson gets his bathing suit on and wants to go swimming. I go up the stairs to get my suit on, make the bed, and brush my teeth, and I feel more pressure on my left side...very strange. By this time it's about 1:00pm.

I decide to get in the pool and just lounge. I bought a new float that keeps me upright, so I coat up with sunscreen and park it on my float for about an hour or so. Still have pressure...although the baby is moving around like crazy, so I wasn't TOO concerned because I knew he was moving.

About 3:00, I'm very concerned that this pressure has not gone away, so I called Dr. Taylor's office. Of course, she is not on call and Dr. Howsten is...she tells me to go straight to the hospital. That freaks me out a bit, but I went in and took a QUICK shower, threw clothes on, grabbed Adam as he walked in the door from his 4-day fishing trip to tell him to eat quickly and get in the car, and in about 20 minutes, we were on our way to the hospital.

We walked straight up to Labor and Delivery b/c I was not about to sit in the ER...I hate the ER...you could seriously die in an ER if it's busy...

They sent me to antepartum and we were greeted to a silent floor (really, there was no one else in the entire antepartum unit!) Our nurse checked me in, put me in a room, took a urine sample, put me in a gown, hooked me up to the contraction monitor, and told me to sit tight...

She then came in and said that I had had about 8 contractions in a short amount of time, and that she was going to call the on-call doctor to see where to go from there. Dr. Howsten ordered a catherated urine sample (ouch--I hate catheters!!) and an fFn, along with a CDC. So she stuck me with a swab (like a Pap) and then with a catheter, and then my arm for some blood...not comfortable!

Then we waited for about an hour and a half for the results. Our nurse said that sometimes a bladder infection can cause contractions. She also said that the fFn would test for a chemical that your body releases if you are likely to go into pre-term labor...never heard of that, so of course, I've been reading about it ever since we got home...

At around 7:45, our nurse came in and asked if we wanted to go home. She said all my results came back clean. If I had the same kind of pain, to lay on my left side, drink plenty of water, and monitor the baby's movements.

At this point, I'm still having contractions. I'll be calling Dr. Taylor first thing in the morning. I'm a little pissed that no one checked my cervix at the hospital, but I've had no bleeding and no other symptoms. So I'll head in there tomorrow morning.

Right now, it's 11:15 and I'm sitting in bed with my laptop reading and reading and reading. I swear, this has been the most uncomfortable I've been in months. Between the pressure, the contractions, the KICKING, and the fact that I'm still hurting from the damn catheter, I think it will be a rough night..although a slumber party for my boys b/c they are both laying here, asleep, snoring...lucky them.

Thankfully, Adam took tomorrow off of work. He was already scheduled for Tuesday off to help me pack b/c we are leaving on Wednesday for TN, so I'm happy that he will be here to do all the manual work and I can just sit here and direct traffic.

I'll update more about our fabulous weekend and our Astros game trip and some cute videos and Jackson's swimming with no floaties and all...tomorrow. For now, I'm going to try and get some sleep. My body is exhausted. I'll update if anything else changes!

Thank you for all your prayers...is it bad to want this baby to hurry up and get to 40 weeks so this can all be over!? I'm ready for October!!

His eyes are Green...

Some days, Jackson wakes up with green eyes. No joke. Other days, they are still that brilliant blue like Adam's....very strange. This particular day, they were STRIKINGLY green...

20 weeks

My mother convinced me to get a couple of shots at 20 weeks, and honestly, I didn't think they came out half bad...although, I still HATE pictures of myself...here you go! 20 weeks, 8 lbs...

Random Wichita Pics

okay okay okay...I'm a little behind....kill me...I've been feeling like crap....tired all the time...I have a baby doing somersaults in my belly as I type this...I have a 2 year old who does not want to go to bed and it's nearly 11:00pm...but, I am FINALLY able to get some stuff posted that is PERSONAL! YAY! Seniors are done...weddings are done...prom is done...my cards are finally empty! Holy cow!! I have one final wedding this weekend...and 2 books to finish up....and then, I'm officially done for the summer!

But back to the personal stuff! The end of April, we took that trip to Wichita to see friends and family...although I spent most of the time with family...we did make it a point to see Cooper and Miss Sheri and Miss Lea and Miss Cori and the NEW BABY GIRL Maylea (who was literally 10 days old!) Jackson and Cooper have the same big brother shirts from Carter's (although, now looking through all of my pictures of Jackson, I am sick to death of this freaking shirt! I think the only times I've taken pictures of him in the last 2 months is in this shirt....NO MORE!!)

Jackson was super excited to see Cooper's "baby sister" and I'm sure, now, he's still a little jealous that he got a sister and not a brother...oh well! Lea was nice and didn't protest when I let Jackson hold Maylea (his first attempt at holding a baby) without even asking her if it was okay--bt he did GREAT! Look how he supports her head! And when her binky fell out, he said "uh-oh, her binky falled out...I put it back!" And he didn't freak out when she started squirming...I think it might be a sign of good things to come!! YAY! (Lea, steal any of these off here of Maylea--I'll email them to you too)







Then we attempted to get two very excited 2 1/2 year olds to sit still long enough to show off their cutie shirts...didn't happen as planned! Not the portrait I was going for, but look how cute they are together! Makes me think of the song from Rob and Big "people let me tell you 'bout my beesstt frriieendd!" HA!


Then Cooper PROUDLY shows off his new baby sister...although I think she was still adjusting to having a big brother! Look at that FACE! :)


And yet again, we tried to get two 2 1/2 year olds and a 10 day old together for a picture...let's just say I shall stick to seniors! So much easier!! Poor Maylea! If she had only known what she was in for this week, she might have stayed cooking for a week longer!



We spent most of our time in Wichita hanging out with one of newest members of the Carroll clan:

But, he hung out with GG Jane most of the time we were there....baby hog!!