Two weeks ago, Jackson managed to get himself put in timeout at school. Yup. My angel was in timeout. And I was pissed. Apparently, him and "the Ryans" (there are two and they all hang out together) were too rowdy and wouldn't calm down, or listen, so they all went to timeout.
This is something that has been going on for a while at our house--being wild, not listening the first time, talking back, telling me "NO!", using silly words (that is the worst of it--I hate it! I'd rather him say "ass" then "Fart head! Poop!! Stupid!" AHH!! Drives me up a freaking wall!!), and just all around being a brat. And I use the word brat because I HATE bratty kids. Hate them. And some bratty kids are that way because their parents don't discipline them...you know the kind. "So-and-so....that's not nice. Please don't do that....so-and-so, I said stop, ha ha ha....he's just a silly boy! He just never listens!"...in that annoying sing-songy voice. Really? He won't listen? Raise your voice a little...put him in timeout...smack his ass!
I've never been a sing-songy parent. Ask anyone. I'm pretty hard on Jackson. Timeouts are no longer working, spanking doesn't do anything but force him to stick his tongue out and roll his eyes (yup. quite the attitude) and he's apparently no longer afraid of my loud voice, because I get louder, and he tunes me out.
So, I had to go back to the drawing board. A chart was the only thing that made sense. Praise praise praise the good, and the bad will weed itself out. And so far, it's worked like a charm. And don't get me wrong, every kid is different, this is just something that works for us because Jackson is a PLEASER. If he does something that makes you praise him and tell him he's the best, he's all for it! Now, if it's something he's not good at, he wants no part of it! (kinda like his momma! If I'm not good at something, I quit doing it! Fortunately, I'm good at most things! HA LOL!!! *insert sarcastic pat on the back!*)
I made a chart with 30 squares. And Jackson and I sat at the table and had chat about what makes mommy mad. HE had to be the one to tell me what makes me made. HE had to think about all the times he's been yelled at....and this is what he came up with:
--when I say bad words
--when I don't sit and eat my dinner
--when I don't pick up my toys
--when I'm silly and yell and scream
--when I don't listen
(and I threw in the "I will brush my teeth everyday, b/c this is something that he ALWAYS does, so I knew he would ALWAYS get that sticker, even on a bad day! Ah! Psycology!)
So the squares were formed. And as a reward, it just so happened that the day before, he'd been watching Disney channel and a commercial for some "new cool toy!" came on and he looked up and me and said "Buy that for me." Excuse me? NO. You have to EARN it. You don't just get toys because you want them. If that were the case, Mommy would have had her Lexus 470 a long time ago. So, he had to EARN the stars, and as a reward for earning and being good, he could pick out one toy of his choice (obviously within reason) So the first week, it would be a Hot Wheels Color Splash that he saw on TV (it was $15.00).
Again, there are 30 squares on the chart (Monday-Friday). It's not reasonable to require him to get all 30 stars right off the bat. We had to work up to that. So I came up with 18. And sure enough, he got his 18 stars that first week. And he got his Color Splash. Last week, he fell short, at 16 stars. He didn't get a toy. But he earned a few EXTRA stickers for being extra special to his brother, and using his manners in saying Thank You and I love you without being prompted. Again, praise the positive. And it's working. Like a charm!
I said to my mom "I finally have my angel baby back!" Mom repeated this to him the other day "Jackson, I'm so happy we finally have our angel boy back!"....and he looked right up at her and said with a straight face "...but not for long." Uh, we'll see about that.
Funny thing: it's the age. Jackson is not the ONLY 3 year old I know that is pushing buttons. The kids in his class are ALL doing it. Believe me, I've asked around. It's like a switch turned and suddenly he had a HUGE attitude. We SAILED through the two's without a stitch of terrible, but the trying threes? We are SOOOO there. So much so, that he hurt my feelings one day by telling me "I don't like you anymore." WTF? You aren't supposed to say that til puberty! I'll keep you all posted on the progress....
6 years ago